They say when you don’t know where to start, go to the beginning:
My senior year of high school, that one time I attended Cal High, I joined an invigoratingly intense club referred to as MUN. Model UN attracts a certain type of student, as it is an organized conglomerate of debaters who enjoy topics international in nature. Amongst the many strong personalities in the club was one junior who was often mistaken for a senior– Michelle Xue.
It took us a moment to hit it off, because we both have fairly dominating energies( I presume). But when we did, it was over our obsession with Nordstromrack.com. From there, we would talk during AP Stat’s tutorial, and would often laugh about the state of the classroom.
At the time, I played a lot of hooky, which doesn’t exactly make that one year of high school count but somehow, it counted for more than I bargained. Michelle would ask where I went, and I’d answer “to the City,” a place where San Ramonians didn’t really venture. Pi Day marked the first of our many adventures. We skipped school entirely and headed over to the Exploratorium, a place we both love. After, we ventured to find absolutely any and every staircase we could. We made it all the way to Japantown, and back into Downtown.
…….
One of the predominant stigma’s about High School is that once it’s over, you won’t see your friends again. Michelle shattered this notion entirely, despite her undergraduate attendance at Georgetown. Every single break, or random weekends she’d fly over, she would be sure to schedule a hike or brunch, or more often, both.
Out of the thousands of memories, I’ll recount four:
1. Berkeley MUN Conference, 2014
Who even assigned us as roommates? Neither of us believed in sleep at the time, plus, it was a conference. We were there to grind. Friday night, we mostly worked on our resolutions and potential amendments for our respective committees. Saturday night, we, along with the rest of Cal High MUN, hiked up to Big C at midnight. After, Xue Xue and I went for a run through the Berkeley campus and landed at Thai Noodle II, where we laughed in our delirium until 2AM because back then, it was open late. Michelle was the most ecstatic over her rice plate.
2. 4AM Wake Up Call
Yes, we’ve come a long way from that fateful day when Xue Xue waited outside my house for over and hour and a half to wake up and go hiking at 4AM. Our record start time was 2AM this past summer(2019). And then, we did another starlight hike in August.
3. Picnic @ Presidio
Our second-to-last hike was at our favorite route: Tennessee Valley. It’s a bit tricky, but practically entirely coastal, making it a gorgeous trek. We talked about everything, literally and virtually everything. About adulthood and our apprehensions, about our goals and ambitions, but also about how we know we’ll do well because of our ethics, and for me, because of my faith. Michelle talked about how excited she was to move to LA, literal blocks away from the beach and her new office. I was going to visit often, and we’d go surfing and then get stupid açaí bowls because we love them.
On our way home, we passed by The Presidio. Xue Xue packed a picnic, which if anyone knows, is my favorite pastime. Xue Xue packed some of my favorite cheeses, grapes, avocado, PB&J sandwiches, and other snacks.
4. Home Hike
Our very last hike was at home, and by home, I mean Las Trampas’s Rocky Ridge trail. We’ve done this route hundreds of times, it feels. This last hike was our first time doing the trail before dawn. It was a Sunday morning, and I hadn’t slept much and had to be at church by 8. I left the house at 3, fatigued. Our walk up was serene. You talked about the Subaru you just got, and I was the first to ride in it with you. Once we got to the top of the ridge, we sat in silence. We sat in peace.
I’m not going to say “I miss you” because I’m still shaking and tears keep coming. But I have yet to fathom not seeing you again. You were so excited for life, and so grateful, and brilliant, and you were going to change the world. Thank you for always laughing hysterically with me, and for loving my peculiarities.
As I prayed before, I pray that I see you again.
collectif de cole 